Honey, do I look fat?

Julie, my bride of 14 years (almost), just ordered pizza for the kids and herself. That's right, nothing for the father unit. I know that I could stand to lose a few pounds but I would appreciate if people would be a little more gracious about it. For example, my buddy at work calls me a fatass all the time. It seems to me that there are more subtle ways to hint at it.

Although I am a bit overweight, I still enjoy the greasy, cheesy, meaty goodness that is Casey's pizza. There is something heavenly about that warm grease dripping from my chin that puts a bit of a smile on my face. And who would be so bold to say that they don't like cheese. It is perfect in all of it's forms. Cold or hot, I love the tangy, smooth wonderfulness that is called cheese.

Now I'm sure that some of you who read yesterdays blog might be thinking "this guy is taking more pills than some pharmacies carry and he is eating food dripping in grease?" The answer is "yes". I eat grease because that is the food group that I love the best.

I have found throughout my life that anything leafy and green is like eating grass and tasteless. My wife says "that is the reason for dressing, the lettuce is just a vessel to carry the tasty dressing". I say why not just drink the dressing and leave the plantlife alone. Plants are good for our planet and they should stay where the lord intended.

One other thing you should know is that I am not a condiment guy. That's right, no ketchup, mustard, mayo or any other nasty thing they try to put on sandwiches. I order everything plain. Ask someone eating a burger sometime why they eat it with all the extra stuff on it. They will tell you "to hide the taste of the burger". You ordered a freaking BURGER. Seems to me that is the taste you were looking for.

Anyway, I digress. Today we live in an America that is overweight. All we hear is how Americans are fat and if things don't change soon, we're looking at early deaths. You know what, that may be true but I see the silver lining (I'm good at that, ask Julie). All the overweight people in this country can count their blessings at night that they had enough to eat. Maybe even too much to eat. There are many people that would happily walk down the street and have people whisper about them being "fat". That is a small price to pay to have enough food in your belly.

So before you go to bed tonight, stand in front of the mirror and thank your lucky stars that you may be "overweight" or "fat". Tuck your kids in bed and pinch their chubby cheeks and thank the Lord that they are able to have enough to eat as well. So don't get caught up in all the hype and just be thankful.